Three years later, seeing you smile still draws a feeling deep within the hollows of my ribcage. I thought I had gotten over you seeing as I’ve had been with someone else after you, but his eyes couldn’t compare to the warmth in yours. I thought I had loved him with every atom of my being, but I always found myself comparing the both of you. From the softness of your lips, the curve of your jaw, the rough pads of your palms, all these drove me insane.
I miss you. I wish I could’ve stayed. I wish I didn’t have to move miles away. Sometimes, I’d hear the melody of a guitar and I picture you, your fingers strumming, your lips stretching into a wide smile. I’d picture myself back to the time where you and I existed in the same moment where I sat there with shaking hands and a confession on the tip of my tongue as I watched you play the guitar. I wish we could’ve been more than best friends.
There were a lot of things I regretted. I wish I had the courage to tell you how I felt back then, how you made me see the stars, the constellations, the beauty of life when I felt like giving up. Your lips are the sweetest drug I never got to taste. I’ve seen the way you looked at me when I stumbled over my words, I wish you would have kissed me to shut me up.
How can I forgive myself for not telling you how I stumbled over my words whenever you’re around? Do you ever stop loving someone who never knew how you felt? Do you ever learn to forgive yourself for not telling them?
I miss you. I hope you’re doing well with her. Your laughter is still a melody I’d spend my whole life listening to, if I could. Your eyes are still my stars when I’ve lost hope. I have loved you from the very start, I hope you’ll take good care of my heart. It will always be yours.
How ever selfish this may be, I hope you still feel the same way about me.