//the sun dreams of murder

‘You’ll kill him,’ Poseidon tells him, with the calm of a sea at its most dangerous. ‘You love him and you won’t mean to, but you will.’

Apollo glances at him sharply, ‘You’re the one who drowns him.’

Poseidon’s smile is smug and serene, and he hates it, ‘Yes.’ Then he’s leaning forward, lips brushing his ear in a caress of salt-wind-wet that would feel too intimate if Apollo didn’t know it to be anything other than spite. ‘But out of ruinous love for you,’ murmurs the sea, ‘it’s into my arms he’ll fall.’

A strangled shout—

A crash of waves against the shore—

and Poseidon is gone.

Apollo remains there, hollowed out and worn because he can picture it all too well. The boy with a heart overfull and yet still so hungry. His eyes, how they’ll turn from ecstasy to agony as he learns that you can be destroyed by what you love. A small eternity of falling, the despair of it and the longing.

He thinks of Icarus’ back, the supple curve he’s so often traced, and the marks he’s put there. Because if the boy is greedy, then oh how the sun is too.

He thinks of Icarus breaking upon the waves and—

an ocean embrace putting him back together, a smile of triumph against soft skin, hands and lips soothing the burns on his back with a pleasure to hide the pain.

Those hands and lips are not his own, and Apollo finds he can barely breathe.

— the sun dreams of murder // (c.ruth)

#421 Icarus with burns on his back

//furor

today i kissed a god. he of bitter rage and tears staining gold-tracks right down his face, hands gripping my shoulders, eyes open, open and staring. what did it feel like? he asked. how does it feel like to kiss something so holy, to feel your insides burning up, every single angel screaming in perfect, damning chorus? today i kissed a god, and told him that nothing he ever did would make him human. today i kissed a god and made him weep.

R E I N C A R N A T I O N

This is the way heartbreak is supposed to be,
blank stares and pretty lies; a facade of misery.
Intricate designs of pains and plains on white sheets,
stained with the blood of whose secrets you couldn’t keep.

The heartache this love brings never seem to meet it’s denouement.
Azure-colored skies in wide eyes buried in this sculpted monument.
A breath of relief inside once-empty ribcages.
I’ve tasted the braille of your lips along inkskinned pages.

Blood drips between the lines of your hands I’ve written and rhymed,
looking for the sound of your laughter in this melody I can never seem to find.
I’ve been burned by the sound of my name on your tongue all this time.
I will never accept a life where you were never mine.

//REINCARNATION (11-21-16)

D E N O U E M E N T

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“We could have been happy.” he said, the words unwrapping from their vice-like grip on his throat, like vines. The gentle murmur of his voice drew out a foreign feeling deep within her confines.

“Happy?” her voice rising an octave in contrast with the anger surfacing from her ribcage, “You think cheating is something I would brush off?” she screamed in rage. Their situation is something you would see on a movie or a stage. Something you would read off a ripped-off page, a foreign feeling that you can’t ever cage.

“I had understood why you did it the first time. Hell, I forgave you,” she explained, her voice still in a crescendo of pain, “but this is too much, don’t you think?”
Feeling okay is not something she could feign, as it would only end in vain. He is the blood that runs through her blue veins, a risk she would bet on until nothing remained.

“I’m sorry. I love you. I’m begging you.” That was all he could ever say, it played in a continuous loop as if it would make everything okay. The color in her life was all but fading to gray. There’s no medicine or song that would make the pain go away, no words poetic enough can make her stay.

“I’m sorry, I love you. I promise to make it all right. Once more chance is all I’m asking, is that such a crime?”

“Yes, it is. You think I’ll be fine? You think I’ll brush off your mistakes every time? I’ve had enough, I’m done. Our hearts no longer rhyme. I’m through with being just your pastime.”

“But I love you, I love you. I love your whole soul. Please just don’t leave me, you make me whole.”

“Can you stop being selfish for once? What about me? I can’t forgive what you’ve done. It’s hurts, can’t you see?” She let out a cry, she wanted to plea, but she knew in her heart, they could no longer be.

“So this is it? All the pain and effort’s prize? All the late night calls and endless cries? All our plans in the future has met it’s demise. All this just so we’d end our love in goodbye?” He clarifies, not wanting to open his eyes to the truth. He wants all to be a lie, not wanting to lose.

“This dance that we seem to be having is long overdue. In another life, we would once again rendezvous. But good god, you’ve painted my skies so blue, I know that I would never, ever forget you.”

This is the end, their love’s denouement. The case of breaking trust, in lust, and abandonment. Their time together was only for a moment, their memories and words are now only just fragments.

A U T U M N

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i want to trace the outline of your jawline
to run my fingers through your hair
good god, give me something to hold onto
all i can ever do is stare

these words are all i can offer
this faith of mine is blind
i can only utter these words of prayer
praying to whatever god you’d be mine

this vodka burns my throat open
it feels a hell of a lot better than your stare
the vowels on your lips tastes so bitter,
it makes me realize you don’t actually care

if this is what love feels like,
i want none of your blazing eyes at all
looking into those draws me deeper
but i’m left alone to endure this fall

//AUTUMN (11-22-16)